You probably remember the time in school when everyone got together to form a sports team. Two team leaders would take turns picking the players. One would say “So-and-so, come”, then the other one would say “I chose So-and-so”, with everyone expecting to be among the chosen ones. Obviously, the best players would be chosen first and the ones who did not play well would be left until last. Sometimes, some would not even be chosen and had to wait for a chance to play in case someone got injured.
After a while, those who were rejected would not show up to play anymore. They would always find an excuse or something else to do. The shame of being left out and the feeling of rejection would guarantee their absence.
Evidently, at first sight, they were not chosen. But the truth is that they did not choose themselves. They excluded themselves when they did not care enough about that particular sport. They excluded themselves when they decided not to do at least the minimum training required not to perform poorly in the field. They excluded themselves when they did not improve their game. The blame was all theirs. After all, it was a competition and not charity.
Life is like that as well. Life is a war, a full-on competition, not an act of charity. You cannot wait for things to be brought to you on a tray. You must go for it, do your part, earn it.
Everybody wants to be chosen. Not only called, but chosen. We want to feel that we are appreciated in class, at work and in the family. Singletons want to be chosen by someone special and start dating, having an exclusive relationship with this person. “He (she) has chosen me” is one of the best feelings that someone can have.
But what happens to many people is that they exclude themselves. They do not understand that we are the first ones who have to choose ourselves. If I do not choose myself, if I do not consider myself worthy or capable of something good, then why would someone choose me?
You could not show up in the field, not compete anymore, not try anymore because you are tired of being ignored.
Or you could choose yourself, improve your game, include yourself, and learn from those who are playing better than you.
Unfortunately, many singletons choose the first option. They are excluding themselves but blaming A, B and Z for their loneliness.
Someone said: “80 per cent of success is about showing up.” If you show up, it may happen that you are not chosen for a while; but if you do not show up, no one will even know you exist, thus guaranteeing that you will never be chosen. Choose yourself.