“But avoid foolish and ignorant disputes, knowing that they generate strife.” (2 Timothy 2:23)

There are discussions that couples need to have in every relationship. However, the problem is how the couple communicate and what the topic of discussion is.

Allowing little things to become a big problem is damaging to a relationship.

One individual may be right, but if the other half is frustrated at that point in time, it is best to stay silent. Although it may seem like it, the moment is not lost. You are investing to gain later on when you broach the subject at the opportune time. Choosing to discuss something at the wrong time only creates another problem.

A crucial way to assist in knowing how to have a discussion is for couples to spend quality time together (minus the children if you have any). This helps you to better know your partner, resulting in both parties knowing what to discuss, when is the right time to do so, and how to best approach the subject. However, many couples do not have a deep connection because they do not know each other as well as they should.

The problem is that many people are more focused on defending their point and their pride than defending their relationship. Their view is the only one that matters, and this is a selfish mentality to have. The whole situation, including the outcome, needs to be considered.

If a couple must fight, it should be for the common good: the totality of the relationship. Deciding to stop insisting on the little things – which are usually things that make no difference to the relationship – will make all the difference.

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