When asked what qualities people want in a partner, many highlight traits such as faithfulness, a good character, loving, God-fearing, courageous, caring, compassionate and sincere, among other things.

However, it is impossible to find all of these characteristics combined in one person, otherwise they would be perfect, and no one is. Thus, expecting so much from someone can often lead to frustration.

“Again, the kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field, which a man found and hid; and for joy over it he goes and sells all that he has and buys that field.” (Matthew 13:44)

The kingdom of heaven is compared to a treasure. To have the treasure, the man first had to buy the field. He couldn’t have sneakily dug up the treasure and run away. He would have most likely been caught. However, he understood that to obtain the treasure, he had to sacrifice to buy the field first.

For some, the treasure represents the qualities that people want in a potential partner. For others, the treasure is the transformation of the spouse. They want their partner to change or the circumstances in their love life to be different, but they themselves lack self-control or patience, or have undesirable traits.

The valuables are inverted. This is why people only achieve temporary success in their love life, they quickly lose it because they value the wrong things in a relationship, and this is what causes frustration. They ignore the fact that they have to buy the field first, which represents having the Holy Spirit – the salvation of the soul.

How can one find true love and happiness if they don’t have the Author of these qualities within them?

The man sold all that he had to buy the field and he did it with joy. Possessing the field requires sacrificing one’s own will, desires, and personal opinions. But because you know that it will only lead you to gain, you do it with joy. It may be painful, but you will become better and reap the greatest of all benefits. In the end, you win.

When one has the field, they have everything. The transformation of a spouse or having a fulfilled love life is just an extension of already having everything a person needs – the Holy Spirit.

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control.” (Galatians 5:22-23)

And when you have the Holy Spirit, you consequently find all that you need in a partner. So, what do you really want, the field or the treasure?

For more intelligent love life tips and guidance, don’t miss the Love Therapy seminar every Thursday at 8pm, livestreaming via YouTube, Facebook or Liberty Radio. Visit uckg.org or call 020 7686 6000 for details.