“But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look at his appearance or at his physical stature, because I have refused him. For the Lord does not see as man sees; for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”  (1 Samuel 16:7)

Singles make two classic mistakes, which are both related to the instruction that God gave to Samuel in the verse above.

1.They expect that the person they are dating will change after the wedding.

This is a huge mistake, and unfortunately, many people go to the altar with this mindset. They think that their love is all it takes for marriage to work. However, after months or years, that love turns into hatred; saying that, if you can’t be happy with the way the person is now, don’t get married. It’s not a matter of perfection. There are certain things that will naturally change as an individual grows and matures in marriage, and that you can cope with. However, there are red flags that don’t change.

When you are dating, you both still have your own lives. You are able to prepare yourself before you meet your partner, enabling you to show them your best side. However, marriage will be 24 hours a day and there is nothing you can hide.

Aspects such as a person’s spirituality and character must already be on target before marriage. If your partner is always lying to you, this is a big warning sign. Marriage won’t magically change issues like this.

2. They worry more about chemistry than character.

Chemistry kindles the fire, but character keeps it burning. What people think is love, at first sight, is just an attraction. Love has to be nurtured every day.

Of course, you must be attracted to your partner. The outward appearance is something that can be changed and worked on, but a person’s character only changes with the spiritual miracle that is the new birth.

If you learn from these two mistakes and ensure not to make them, you will save yourself a lot of future heartache.

For more intelligent love life tips and guidance, don’t miss the Love Therapy seminar every Thursday at 8pm, at Rainbow Theatre, 232 Seven Sisters Road, N4 3NX.

Please come wearing a face covering and follow all social distancing guidelines. Call or send a WhatsApp message to 020 7686 6000 for more details.